El sexo en la pareja; recuperarlo

by MLOWEB
on noviembre 6, 2017

En consulta es muy frecuente ver parejas estables y sanas, con una buena comunicación y reciprocidad en general en su vida cotidiana, pero que han perdido la capacidad mutua de satisfacerse a nivel sexual.

Se da por sentado que es lógico y normal que con el tiempo la pasión se convierta en cariño y las responsabilidades, obligaciones y rutinas diarias (trabajo, hijos, deporte, amigos, tareas caseras, etc.), acaben con cualquier posibilidad de que nos acordemos siquiera de que existe algo llamado libido o deseo sexual.

Muchas parejas acaban olvidando lo necesario y positivo de este tipo de comunicación, y tienen dificultad a la hora de expresar físicamente sus sentimientos de intimidad, o lo hacen de una manera inadecuada.

Los hombres suelen quejarse de que su necesidad nunca está suficientemente cubierta, que las mujeres no se acercan a ellos ni responden, y ellas se suelen quejar de que cualquier indicio de señal de afecto (caricia, beso, abrazo, etc.), genera una expectativa de continuación sexual que no siempre apetece.

Lo que ocurre es que se va dejando pasar el tiempo esperando que sea el otro el que tome la iniciativa o inicie un acercamiento, y la frustración va dando paso a sentimientos de soledad y aislamiento, que acaban afectando al resto de las áreas.

No hemos de olvidar que la necesidad de cercanía, intimidad y contacto afectivo es algo innato, y si la relación va bien y sólo «falla» en este aspecto, hay que intentar dar un giro trabajando habilidades de comunicación y ajustando expectativas, y se puede conseguir de nuevo un buen ajuste a nivel sexual.

Aprender a expresar y pedir cuando queramos o necesitemos a la otra persona un acercamiento sexual de manera afectuosa, sin exigencias, teniendo en cuenta también sus necesidades, de manera sincera y directa, y cuidando nuestro aspecto físico y los detalles.

Y también aprender a decir que no de una manera empática, razonable, tranquila y directa, no por rencor hacia ocasiones anteriores, sin expresiones de rechazo, crítica o sarcasmo, intentando comprender la no apetencia o necesidad del otro en ese momento, y ofreciendo una posibilidad de satisfacción en otro momento más oportuno, porque será más gratificante para ambos si es así.

Recuperar la complicidad, la capacidad de sorprender al otro y la espontaneidad son parte importante del proceso también.

Es buen momento este para recordar algunos de los beneficios demostrados de la actividad sexual (existen muchos estudios, pero en este caso nos hacemos eco de un artículo publicado en la revista «Muy Interesante» acerca del tema.

  • Ayuda a fortalecer el sistema inmunológico.
  • Disminuye la presión arterial.
  • Aumenta la libido: cuantas más relaciones se tienen, más necesidad hay de tenerlas.
  • Según un estudio publicado en la revista «Journal of  the American Medical Association», la eyaculación disminuye la probabilidad de desarrollar cáncer de próstata.
  • Reduce el estrés, no sólo por la liberación de sustancias a nivel cerebral, sino porque también fortalece la autoestima.
  • Se hace ejercicio: se queman de media unas cinco calorías por minuto, y se ejercita musculatura y se acelera nuestro ritmo cardíaco.
  • Según un estudio de la Universidad estatal de Nueva Jersey, el orgasmo libera una sustancia que ayuda a elevar el umbral del dolor, de hecho sólo la estimulación vaginal en la mujer ayuda a reducir el dolor de espalda, cabeza, menstrual y la artritis.
  • Se descansa mejor, porque se libera la prolactina, que ayuda a la relajación.
  • Existen estudios diversos que han evidenciado que se reduce el riesgo de ataque cardíaco y de osteoporosis.
  • Mejora el control de la vejiga femenina al fortalecer el suelo pélvico.

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Pareja

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