Todos conocemos a alguna persona (o a más de una) que nos produce una envidia sana. Pero no por cómo es físicamente o por lo buena que es en su profesión o por lo que posee, sino porque parece que siempre es capaz de estar bien.
Existen personas que saben disfrutar de las pequeñas cosas, que saben afrontar de manera serena las dificultades, a las que parece que no les cuesta tomar decisiones, que parecen tener una natural facilidad para relacionarse con los demás, para gestionar de manera eficaz las cosas de su día a día, hacer bien su trabajo y sentirse bien consigo mismos.
Y no es que a ellas la vida las haya tratado siempre bien; también han sufrido algún desengaño amoroso, o alguna enfermedad, accidente o trauma más o menos importante, o han tenido problemas con amigos, familiares, o económicos, o no han estado del todo satisfechos profesionalmente.
¿Por qué parecen entonces casi inmunes a la tristeza, la decepción, la frustración y el desánimo? ¿Cómo lo hacen? ¿Es que acaso son más inteligentes que los demás?
La respuesta no hay que buscarla en la inteligencia general y cognitiva, en tener un cociente intelectual por encima de la media o superior. Esto nos puede ayudar a ser mejores en una determinada aptitud y a sobresalir y tener éxito en una determinada área de conocimiento y de trabajo, pero no a lo que nosotros nos referimos. De hecho muchas de estas personas, «genios», tienen grandes dificultades de relación y emocionales en su interacción con los demás y consigo mismos.
La respuesta está en nuestra capacidad de ser inteligentes emocionalmente. El estudio de las neurociencias en relación con las emociones está en pleno desarrollo, y nos está descubriendo cosas apasionantes acerca de cómo funcionamos a nivel cerebral, y de cómo la existencia de un cerebro emocional , dentro del cerebro más evolucionado ( responsable en líneas generales del conocimiento y del lenguaje, y de las funciones superiores de control de impulsos, toma de decisiones o planificación entre otras ), que es capaz de activarse y funcionar previa y de manera independiente a él, influye en nosotros de manera determinante en cada momento y en cada situación que se nos presenta en el día a día, y en cómo nos afecta y respondemos a ella.
Ahora sabemos que este cerebro emocional controla todo lo psicológico, y también la regulación o desregulación a efectos de funcionamiento del corazón, tensión arterial, hormonas, sistema digestivo e inmunitario. Y que las alteraciones emocionales no son más que desequilibrios que se producen en él.
Según Binet, inventor del concepto del «cociente intelectual» o C.I, la inteligencia es el conjunto de las capacidades mentales que permiten predecir el éxito de un individuo. Pero está demostrado que el éxito vital, en el sentido más amplio de la palabra: tener amigos, estar integrado en una familia, tener pareja, tener hijos, tener un trabajo satisfactorio, llevar una vida más o menos sana, sentirse bien, sólo depende de este número en un 20%, y además es algo que no varía a lo largo de la vida.
Así que el otro 80% en ese porcentaje de éxito depende de nuestra otra inteligencia, la emocional. Y ésta SÍ que se puede desarrollar.
Saber identificar nuestras emociones y conectar con ellas, saber distinguirlas, saber reconocer las de los demás, y saber regular y gestionar ambas y el cómo nos afectan.
Muchas personas creen y piensan que saben hacerlo, pero no es así en absoluto. Y es eso lo que a todos nos impide en mayor o menor medida sentirnos bien y resolver nuestra vida cotidiana adecuadamente. Es eso lo que nos estorba.
BUENAS NOTICIAS: podemos aprender a hacerlo, y a hacerlo bien. Y también podemos enseñar a nuestros hijos a saber hacerlo, para que su éxito personal en la vida sea posible. ¿Acaso hay algo más importante?.
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