Hoy en día, gracias a los avances de la psicología cognitiva y de las neurociencias, sabemos que el bebé no es un personajillo pasivo y únicamente receptivo, sino que desde el inicio viene al mundo dotado de capacidades de relación con los otros, y esas capacidades de interacción son mucho más complejas que las destinadas a obtener  alimento o una regulación de sus necesidades fisiológicas básicas.

Toda la estructuración del sistema de apego está orientado a conseguir una comunicación con el progenitor que consiga proporcionar al bebé una regulación, tanto fisiológica en un nivel más básico, como emocional, para poder obtener un desarrollo sano y adecuado cognitivo y social.

El denominado por todos los autores «apego seguro», implica por parte de los cuidadores (básicamente madre y padre, o en su ausencia figuras afectivamente cercanas), el desarrollo de toda una serie de conductas de atención y entonamiento sensitivo y emocional, que ayuden al bebé no sólo a sentirse cuidado funcionalmente, sino que también le ayuden a ampliar sus respuestas positivas y a minimizar o regular las negativas.

La ayuda de unos padres cariñosos, empáticos, cercanos y afectivos, seguros y estables, para disminuir ansiedades y miedos, para contener emociones negativas y reducir la sensación de peligro, es vital y fundamental. Gracias a ella se organiza estructuralmente la persona a nivel psíquico, pero también se desarrolla a nivel neuronal la maduración fisiológica necesaria que sirva de base a todo ello.

En este sentido, el apego inseguro, originado y motivado por diferentes factores: experiencias de negligencia, abandono, ausencia (separación, enfermedad o muerte de los progenitores), maltrato o abuso, es un claro factor de riesgo en esa construcción sana, y un fuerte predictor de desarrollo de psicopatología futura a uno u otro nivel, según sea la cualidad y la intensidad del trauma vivido.

Es decir, que aunque la carencia y sus consecuencias vitales se originen y establezcan en infancia, permanecerán (si no se subsanan o mitigan o compensan a tiempo) en la vida adulta.

Un niño que es maltratado, abandonado, o que sufre un cuidado negligente de sus necesidades básicas va a tener mucho más limitado su repertorio de respuestas emocionales, y si no desconecta del todo como defensa básica, canalizará sus sensación de miedo e inseguridad a través de la rabia, bien sea hacia sí mismo o hacia los demás. Aparte del daño neurológico en su evolución y de los posibles déficits en su desarrollo, quedará activado, tanto a nivel fisiológico como emocional, en un estado de alerta y de respuesta a un peligro, lo que le llevará a una desregulación constante de sus emociones y a una impulsividad en sus conductas, o bien a un estado de anestesia e inhibición absolutos.

Es por todo esto por lo que resulta tan importante, en los casos en los que hay un trastorno de apego, sea del tipo que sea, compensarlo lo antes posible con la creación de un vínculo afectivo con alguna figura que pueda establecer con el niño esa sintonización, a todos los niveles, para compensar la carencia ya existente y prevenir futuras patologías más graves.

¿Y qué ocurre cuando es ya un adulto el que se presenta ante nosotros, con una o más síntomas, sean del tipo que sean, que le están haciendo sufrir y no ser capaz de controlar su vida? ¿Lo hecho hecho está? ¿Estamos destinados a sufrir las consecuencias de un apego inseguro en nuestra infancia cuando éste se da y no ha podido ser subsanado? ¿Estamos además destinados a repetir estos patrones disfuncionales con nuestros hijos?.

Afortunadamente hoy sabemos que la respuesta es no. Sabemos que con una psicoterapia adecuada, desde un abordaje con técnicas adecuadas (cognitivo-conductuales, relajación, EMDR, etc,…), y trabajando con la persona y explicándole por qué no pudo construir un sistema estable y organizado de creencias a nivel cognitivo, de expectativas con respecto al comportamiento de los demás, de mentalización de las funciones, y de regulación fisiológica y emocional, se puede conseguir compensar la carencia y establecer un nuevo sistema que elimine el trauma y sirva para desarrollar habilidades de afrontamiento tanto a presente como a futuro.

Y desde luego podemos, una vez sabido e incorporado todo ello, ayudar a ese adulto, padre o madre, a que sepa generar esa base de apego seguro en sus hijos, compensando así todo lo sufrido en su propia infancia, sintiéndose capaces de crear vínculos fuertes y sanos.

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